Episode Overview

In episode 88 of Your Leadership Legacy, Tina Paulus-Krause & Monte Cox explore the intersection of personal transformation and leadership. Monte shares his compelling journey during the COVID-19 pandemic, highlighting his decision to move to Guatemala as a bold step in self-leadership and embracing change.

The conversation explores how facing challenges head-on, such as overcoming addiction and learning to be present, can profoundly impact one’s leadership style and effectiveness. Monte’s experiences offer valuable lessons on leading oneself through uncertainty, the importance of self-awareness in leadership, and the transformative power of stepping outside one’s comfort zone. This episode is a rich exploration of how personal growth directly influences and enhances one’s ability to lead others.

About Monte Cox

Monte Cox is a transformational life coach who helps people increase self-love, self-acceptance, and joy while creating positive change. As a personal trainer and sports nutrition specialist, he creates personalized fitness and nutrition programs focused on health rather than shame. His coaching goes beyond the surface to clear trauma, build self-esteem through positive self-talk, and make sustainable lifestyle changes that improve quality of life.

Topics Covered

  • Monte’s experience living alone during the initial months of COVID-19.
  • His decision to move to Guatemala and the adventures that followed.
  • The importance of slowing down and being present.
  • Monte’s personal journey with addiction and self-discovery.
  • The concept of happiness and creating a fulfilling life.
  • Monte’s approach to coaching and helping others.
  • A discussion on societal expectations and fear as barriers to change.
  • Monte’s future plans, including speaking engagements and workshops.

Action Items

  • Embrace the present moment and appreciate your current surroundings.
  • Consider how societal expectations and fear might be holding you back.
  • Reflect on personal happiness and what it means to you.
  • Explore ways to live a life that feels fulfilling and true to yourself.

Key Moments in the Conversation

“I will do whatever it takes to get happy.”

“I’m a man of many trades. I cannot be boxed.”

“It’s about the ability to come back to joy quicker, to come back to center quicker and quicker.”

“The biggest lesson was to slow down…”

“I’ve stayed in a bunch of situations that I wish I would have gotten out of earlier. But now I move faster.”

Prefer to read? Click to open the transcript.

Tina: Hey everyone. Welcome to your Leadership Legacy. My name is Tina Paulus-Krause and I am super excited because we have Monte Cox in the house today. What I obviously love about you, Monte, is your energy. That was the immediate first instant thing that drew me to you. How are you? 

Monte: I’m good. How are you doing today?

Tina: I’m awesome. Thank you for being here. I have Monte on the show today because I met him when, through COVID, we were on the same networks and stuff like that. And I saw you from afar, and you’re connected to several people that I’m connected to.

And I thought you were such a cool dude. You were just always full of energy, you’re contagious, and you have this super huge adventure that you went through through COVID. And so I would love to start this whole thing out with you talking about that adventure, like what prompted it, and just tell us about this amazing adventure that you had through COVID.

Monte: Awesome. Well, thanks for having me, and hi, everybody that catches this. In COVID, it hit hard in March, and I lived by myself. My extra bedroom was an office, and so for the first month of COVID, for me, it was great. It was like a slumber party.

Other people were living with their families and going nuts because they’d never done it before. And I was just like, fantastic! And then, in the second and third months, it got dark because it wasn’t fun anymore and it was alone. There were no hugs. There was nothing.

After about three months of being in my apartment and what I was doing, I was split. I was doing performance coaching for teaching people online business, and in L.A., I was doing high-end personal training at home. So, I would drive around all over the place. Nobody was entering anybody’s home.

So all of my business is now online. After a few months, I was like, This sucks. It is like, I do not want…

Tina: Not working.

Monte: It’s not working. And I had a friend that was in Guatemala at this place called Lake Atitlan, and we were connecting all the time. She was actually coaching me on something in particular, and every time I was talking to her, I was like, Oh! my God, she was going to parties.

She was living right on the lake in this little apartment for $350. It was really nice, and we just had a pretty fabulous time. It was hard to catch her because she was always running around doing stuff. And I have always, in my life, worked for myself, and there were vacations and things, but I was in relationships. I was dealing with codependency. So there were a lot of opportunities that I missed in life to see the world, and it was always something I wanted to do.

So, I started wanting to go and just get out. They were closed down, and then I was like, It must have been in the midst or beginning of September; somewhere around there, my friends, they’re about to open up and let people in.

When they did, it was on a Monday. I sat with it, not running to race into anything. But by Friday, I gave my notice at my apartment.

Tina: I was going to say, but you kind of did, right? It was like, boom, boom, boom!

Monte: Well, yeah, but I’ve learned to regulate myself because I’m in the world that we’re in. I’m a promoter. And so it’s like, “Yes, I want to do everything.” Now, I was like, “Oh, yes, I want to do that.” But usually, it’s at least 24 hours. And I mean, that was a rent-controlled apartment in West Hollywood. It was gold. So, I had 30 days to get out.

I asked my dad to come and take some of my stuff, just my art and some clothes. I got rid of tons of things, and 30 days later, I was on a plane to Guatemala.

Tina: It’s crazy. I mean, you hear about this, right? You hear about people doing this, like selling everything or just getting rid of the stuff that they don’t need, and literally just taking the leap to do that. What was coming up for you during that time? Were you just like, “Hell, yeah, I’m gone?” Or were you scared? Was there fear involved there? Because you’re moving to another country in a time where, like, it’s kind of hairy and scary all over the place?

Monte: Well, I mean, there was definitely some fear around it. What if this isn’t the right decision? Those kinds of things. There was also a medical issue where I wouldn’t be able to get access to the medication that I needed anymore. And I really got to look in the mirror and be like, You’re either stuck here, like living a life that you don’t want, or just give it a shot and see what happens.

In those 30 days, there wasn’t a lot of time because it was very difficult to get rid of things because nobody wanted to come to your house. So, I had to find friends and friends of friends that would take things because I had a whole apartment. It was all set up, and I wanted to see everybody. A couple of friends came one time. There were a couple, and so she came, and we’re walking down the street, and I’m walking because I was not interested in masking unless I absolutely had to. So I’m walking outside, and I’m not wearing a mask. So I would walk outside of the cars, and then she would walk on the inside, on the sidewalk, and go for walks in the neighborhood.

And then they both came to see me and did the same thing. I got back to the house. It was like the day before I was leaving, and they had a surprise for me. So they had me trick around. They went into the trunk of their car and tricked over. They were both covered in a blanket, and they wanted a hug.

That is how serious it was, but I just have to do this. And I got rid of everything. There were just some precious things—art and clothes—that I wanted. But all of my furniture I got rid of because I didn’t want to pay for storage.

I didn’t want to have to go back to L.A. I was done. I was just like, Let me go for it.

Tina: How freeing was that? 

Monte: It was amazing. I’ll share a really beautiful moment. Well, it’s one of my favorite moments in life because it was just unusual. So, I first went to this town, Antigua. It’s like a colonial town. It’s really nice. My friend said to start there because it’s in between city and country, because I really moved to the country at this lake.

So I started there for a few days and then go to the lake, which I did. Then, I had this adventure getting to the lake. It was a whole mix-up with the car, and then I got into this weird car. I was meant to leave at 10:00 a.m. and leave at 9:00 p.m. in this weird little car. No car like this has ever picked you up before.

Tina: Totally different country. 

Monte: Yeah. And I was like, okay, these two guys were speaking Spanish to me. Spanish was both of our second languages, right? So, we started driving, and they’re talking to each other in a Mayan dialect. Anyway, we get on a freeway, and we’re going in this direction. Everything seems to be normal. We’re just going, and then all of a sudden they’re going back and forth. And then there’s a place in the freeway where he can turn around.

And so they did a turn around, and it didn’t seem like there needed to be that conversation. If you have to go that way, you got to go that way. So, I’m like, is this about to get weird?

Tina: Like, what is happening right now? 

Monte: I went through the worst-case scenario. Things are happening to my stuff and to my body, all the things. And I was like, “Well, we’re just going to have to trust.” And then it turned out fine, and it took forever to get there. And then, when we finally got into the lake, you go down a lot of twists and turns, and here comes the moment that really, I mean, was a moment for me, but the moment that really hit me was that we were on regular roads.

I mean, not the best, but normalish like what I’m used to. Then, we had, it’s just like… There are potholes, and then there’s no cement. We’re on a rock and dirt road, and I had this moment where we’re like, I don’t even know where I am on a map right now. Nobody, I know, knows where I am.

Wow, this is the adventure of a life. I’m doing! So that was a moment that was just so beautiful because it was like, “This is wild.”

Tina: Yeah. But you allowed yourself to do that, right? Like that, you allowed yourself to really step into that, which is incredible. And not knowing anything about anything that’s happening is crazy. So what was like the biggest lesson of all of it?

Monte: The biggest lesson: In the next couple of years, there was a lot of adventure, but there was a lot of alone time. The biggest lesson was to slow down, like what I first learned when I was in Guatemala, because I ended up being there for 11 months.

I lived in this gorgeous place. It was a gorgeous little apartment, right on the lake. And it was just so…

Tina: I remember some of the pictures. 

Monte: Oh, yeah. And you wake up to the birds. You go to sleep until, like, there’s a symphony at night from the bugs. There’s a symphony in the morning from the birds.

It was gorgeous. Open up the windows. It’s just green and lush and all that. One day, I was working. I was working for other people as well as on my own business. It was about 6:00 p.m., and I finished work, and I was like, “Oh, I should work on marketing for my staff.”

And I was like, Calm down. It was a good day. Where I lived in particular, there were beautiful thunderstorms. And I had a corrugated roof, which kind of goes like this, so when the rain hits, it’s very loud. So I was like, I need to make some hot chocolate and some cocoa and go sit and watch the show.

I just sat out there and listened to the rain, watched the lightning, and cheered. I mean, there were some times where there was so much lightning that it looked like daylight, and just being in that…

Tina: Presence. I hear you say present, you are present. 

Monte:   Yeah. And learning how to slow down. Also, there were many times I lived about a mile from the main town, where I’d go hang out and go to cafes and things, and it was a dirt road. On one side of the road was the lake, and on another side was this gorgeous hill, a mountain, I guess. And I catch myself walking and looking and thinking, doing calculations, thinking about, “Oh, I need to call this person.” I need to do this, and I would stop and be like, “You don’t need to do anything right now, except look at where you’re at.” Because it was a moment in life, you won’t be here forever, and when you leave, you probably will never come back and be here.

Tina: Yeah. That’s a beautiful.

Monte:   Most beautiful thing. 

Tina: Such a lesson, right? Like understanding that this is the only moment that you ever have in life and that you were in a different country. What happened after Guatemala? You were there for 11 months, and then what?

Monte: And then I would almost get to the place where I was going to stay because I really liked it. It was crazy. But there were downsides. I probably would have stayed if the Internet was better because sometimes there would just be no power, so there’d be no Internet. And it just doesn’t work.

Tina: You can’t really run a business when that’s the case. 

Monte: Now, it’s cute at first because all my clients were like, “Oh, my God, this is such an amazing adventure.” So something like that would happen, and nobody cared, right? Because they were all like, “Wow, this is fun.” But eventually, that’s going to stop. So, I got invited to a retreat in Mexico in Tulum, so I decided to set up in Playa del Carmen. So, I wanted Tulum for 11 days, and then I went to Playa del Carmen.

I was there for five months. Then I went to Florida for a couple of months to hang with a friend, and then I ended up in the Dominican Republic for 15 months.

Tina: Yeah. Where I want to go with this is because the podcast is your Leadership Legacy, and when we talk about leadership, it’s not people with a title, right? We’re all leaders. It’s the leadership, the ways of being within us, and all of that. Exactly.

What do you think holds people back from doing that? Because it sounds so amazing. Anybody that’s going to hear your story is like, “Oh, my God, you want to travel all these countries, and you went around the world, and you are in joy and happiness.” But yet, there’s something that holds people back from not taking that leap and doing it. What do you think that is?

Monte: Fear and societal expectations. I think, well, for a lot of people, because I mean, I wouldn’t have been able to do it had we not had the income that it would. Why? Whatever! It wouldn’t have worked as easily and well if we had live clients that all of a sudden needed to be online.

Eventually, I’d lose some of those clients. I had to build a different business. But that’s fine, right? But I wouldn’t have felt as comfortable if I didn’t have that. So, I know a lot of people have jobs where they need to be there and things like that. So for those people, don’t get mad at me, but you could start to work towards that.

I mean, there’s a lot of people that are working remotely now, and you can go to other countries where, like, whatever paycheck you’re making… I’m in San Francisco now. The money that I’m making here goes way farther in the Dominican Republic. I’m also by the beach, but there’s different things.

So I think there’s that. I think people think it’s where we become very comfortable, even if it’s discomfort. Your life is like you’re not loving it. You’re used to that, like you use what we know, and so I had no idea what I was getting into, where it was going to go, or what it was going to be like. For me, I really had to ask myself: I felt like I was dying inside. I don’t want to do this anymore.

Another thing that people have pointed out to me that is maybe different about me is that I will do whatever it takes to get happy. I’ve stayed in a bunch of situations that I wish I would have gotten out of earlier. But now I move faster. It’s like, “Oh, this will do.”

Tina: It’s about like that ability to go quicker, to come back to joy quicker, to come back to quicker, quicker, and quicker.

Monte: Yeah. I just think that there’s a lot of expectations that we’ve had and a lot of ideas. Everybody started to question everything. So ideas like those of the younger kids are coming through. They don’t want to buy a big old house and have a mortgage and things like that. They’re doing the tiny home, and some people are working for like a season and then going off. I met a bunch of people, and I noticed that these guys were doing whatever they do with weed when it’s time to harvest it.

I met another guy who would go back to Switzerland during the winter and work in a high-end restaurant, serving all the people that came in there. Then, you can go chill for a while. So, it’s kind of expanding and changing, and I also think that when I look at my life, when I graduated high school, it was really hard for me because I had been struggling with addiction.

And earlier I thought, back then, that if you go to college and get a good job, then everything is possible. I had messed it up. And so the only place I could go was community college. I didn’t know about entrepreneurship. Nobody had ever introduced it to me, and there’s a lot more options now, and things are shifting.

So I think that a lot more people may start to open up to it, and your life is kind of like, before you know it, we’re going to be old.

Tina: Like we’re going to blink our eyes and that’s going to be there. 

Monte: Yeah. For me, I had built up enough regrets and that I was like no more. It’s time to go.

Tina: Talk to us about the addiction. What was that journey and how did that lead into you having the leadership to just go and do that? Because I know that there’s a tie in there. 

Monte: Well, my dad was a drug dealer. I sold weed one time when I was four because I just put the babysitter and somebody showed up, and it’s like a very famous story that my dad was very happy with because I tried to give me five bucks for the weed and I was like, It’s ten.

So that’s where I grew up at that time. I always looked at drugs as like, “Oh, God, it’s terrible. I am so stupid. I’m not going to do that. I’m going.” It was the 1980s. I’m like, I’m going to Harvard, I’m going to Wall Street, and I’m going to be rich. And then curiosity got the best of me.

And I like being up. I like having fun, and so that became a thing. I had access to it because that was in my home. So, it was something that went on for many years. I was a little over four years, like four and a quarter years, sober now.

Tina: Congratulations.

Monte: Thank you very much. And it’s my second time. I was there when I was younger. One of the problems that I’ve had and one of the things I’m looking at is, like, what I want to bring to the table is changing it because it doesn’t, like calling it a disease doesn’t work for me. And I don’t need to be right about this, but I don’t experience it that way. I know how to party, I can get crazy, and I don’t like to be in pain. So I really like…

Tina: Like if you have a headache. 

Monte: Yeah, like, I want an aspirin.

The first time through, I was hearing all these stories. I do believe that there may be an allergy. Some people have one drink and they lose everything, and sometimes that happens for me, but it’s usually during the daytime because something usually I have a rule about day drinking or I had. I don’t drink at all now and then; something just really upsets me, and it could lead to drugs, which was the problem for me.

But there were times when I just went out and had, and they say an AA like, “Oh, try some controlled drinking.” And I’m like, I would go out and have one or two beers all the time and go home. So I didn’t identify. What happened for me as I went, I ended up in jail for a DUI, which was like such a blessing, and for me, it was like, I will just never go to jail again.

Whether I’m addicted or not, I don’t know. I mean, I have all kinds of isms. It feels like the more that you get into it, I can definitely be excessive. I study intensely. I do a lot of work on myself, and I work with a lot of people, and for me, it really comes down to like I’m really looking at it.

For me, it’s like I go by Gabor Mate’s kind of teachings, in which he says that addiction, he doesn’t believe that addiction is like a disease. He thinks it’s a coping mechanism. It’s a solution, and that’s my experience personally.

Tina: I would agree with that. 

Monte: You know that we have traumas, and the more that we look, the more I dig into trauma. It seems like we have this idea that trauma is this big thing. Well, they call it big T and little t. So, big T’s are like divorce, molestation, beating, and yelling those kinds of things. Really bad stuff. I mean, I think it’s huge. And that little t is more being ignored, being told you are stupid, like things that you can brush off. But when you really look at what it does to a child, it changes the way that your brain works.

Also as children, we know. We’re hardwired to know that we need to be taken care of. We’re the only animal that needs to be taken care of the way that we do it, and we know it. I need this big person to want to take care of me. So, we start to bend and change too, especially if our parents have dysfunction, are alcoholics, or have all their stuff coming.

So it’s like it creates this thing where my experience is that I was never able to be me. I was always morphing. And so when you don’t know who you are and you don’t have a strong sense of self, it’s very disconcerting, and you spend a life like this. I was medicating, and it led to a lot of the things that held me back. It led me into relationships where I thought I needed to be in a relationship. I also had a mild sex addiction, but I also liked the status that would come with it. I liked the story of monogamy, and I don’t know if it’s for everybody, but there’s a lot that goes into how you’re raised and then how you’re coping with it.

Every maladaptive behavior is basically an addiction because it’s something you do in the short term to give yourself relief. But you know it has long-term consequences, and you can’t stop doing it.

Tina: How do you support people today who are going through something, whether it’s addiction, a transformation, or whatever it is?

Monte: The number one thing I think is, “It’s okay.” There is feedback that I get as I make people feel really, really safe and really seen, like with me, you can never be more afraid than I was. I mean, if I had met you in my twenties on the street, we would have had a short conversation. “Hey, what’s up? How are you doing?” I would walk away, and I would repeat everything that you said and I said in my head to see how stupid I was. Was that okay? You know what I mean.

Tina: You did analyze it.

Monte: Yeah. To make sure, am I okay? Was that okay? Or like, how do I… and I feel safe next time I see her. She’s going to think I’m an idiot. So that’s just one example of the level and the problematic thinking and behavior that I have.

Number one, it’s safe. It’s okay, and it’s totally normal. Any kind of reaction you’re having, we get to dig into it, and you have to look at it. There’s some people, and it’s just like toxic positivity, like we’re just going to… You know, move on, and it’s like, I don’t believe that. I believe that we have to look at it.

As you’re moving through life, you’re just dealing, dealing, dealing. You’re creating new neural pathways. You’re not actually grieving anything.

Tina: Or healing.

Monte:   Or healing. When I left the country, I mean, I’ve done a lot of work. I started working on myself 20 years ago. But I never had time, and I didn’t even know how to let it out. I left in November of 2020. I cried every single day. At the end of the day, I would go and do my thing. I would come back, and I would just cry, just letting it out. There were deep wells of grief, and maybe more, because I just kept moving. That’s what you do.

Tina: You were healing in the process, right? That was your way of healing in the process.

Monte: Yeah. And that’s what I needed to do. But with everybody, it’s like it’s fine; it’s okay. One thing was that when I started coaching a bunch of years ago, my friend Emily, whom I’ve been friends with since I was 18, was so happy. She was like, we would be at the club because we were partying our asses off back then. We were partying.

I remember somebody puked in the club, and you would drag them outside and look them in the face. It’s not great, but it’s okay. Get in this cab and call me tomorrow. You’re going to be fine, and it’s like I want to know that we’re okay.

So I think if it starts there and then once you really understand it, like first you got to get to understand it and then it’s your responsibility, like it’s no longer. We’re doing things automatically that we have no control over.

But then, once we get it, it’s going to change. Looking at it from the perspective of the people that I help with, you know, diet and fitness, they’re like, I’m going to go straight out of the gate, and I’m going to go six days a week to the gym. I’m like, No, you are not. Calm down!

You start with three days. You’re going to go light. You start making shifting changes in your food because you’re undoing patterns, and different people react differently, so you get to find out what works. Something that I might prescribe to you may not work for your husband or your best friend.

You’ve got to put your twist on it and find out how you work. What do you want? What’s in the way? And how do we get around it? That’s what everything comes down to.

Tina:   Absolutely. Yeah.

Well, it brings up a good point. So what’s next for you now? You’re back here, and you’re talking about the fitness stuff. So I want you to talk a little bit about what’s next for you. 

Monte: Now, I’ve been working on getting back into speaking. Before I left, I’d done a bunch of facilitation. I’d had my own clients, more in a life coaching capacity, and I was doing a lot of coaching around how to create your business. But that’s just basically like the basics of the basics.

Tina:   The basics of the basics. 

Monte: So now I’m getting back into wanting to do workshops and speaking. I did a workshop back in 2019 that was really good on boundaries. So I pulled that up, updated it, and turned it into a keynote so it could do more of a talk. But I really love doing workshop work, so that’ll be fun.

Then, I did another one on trauma and addiction, and just like books, my first gig, I’m going to be helping a group that’s a smoking cessation group, going in and introducing to them what trauma looks like or how it’s affecting you so that they can really understand what’s running them inside so they can start to work with that, and then… 

Tina: Connect that trauma to the addiction?

Monte: Yes. Yeah. That’s why it’s happening. You’re self-soothing and self-medicating, and that’s okay. And it’s totally normal and natural. But we’ve got to do something. So there’s that.

Then, the third one is really just happiness. Look, I’m deep diving into why we as a society are unhappy and lonely, and what can we actually do about it? Really looking at it, how can I help people who have normal lives? Because something like mine is like I can help somebody with a big… that’s like I got to change everything. Great! Let’s do it! I’ve done that a bunch of times.

But also really digging into something: how do people find meaning in their lives? A lot of people have jobs that don’t feel meaningful to them. How do you really deal with that internally and decide if it’s like volunteering outside? Is it really just looking at what you’re doing within your family and appreciating yourself more? Like, there’s moms who are just doing it, but they’re not really thinking about what a big job it is. I mean, to guide and instill people like that, there is going to be an art of doing things like that and maybe putting meaning into them, but also not having that be all their meaning.

So I help people and am also a really big advocate for people taking time for themselves and doing things that they want to do. I’m working on somebody who’s running a million-dollar plus coaching company, and I help her with her fitness and her nutrition, and we just slowly change the nutrition because that’s what she needs.

Also, the other day, she had a half VIP day and asked, I don’t think I’m ready. Can we move it to two weeks out? Absolutely! And check, and I didn’t put my head in anything else for the day. I just took some space, and she keeps making space, and then great ideas are coming in.

Number one, well, a lot of people are in a really super type A, like go, go, go situation. The way you got to like it, you got to dangle; it is like you’re going to get better ideas and improve your business if you do it. That’s how…

Tina: I have more stuff come up when I’m meditating than any other time.

Monte: Yeah well I mean the other day…

Tina: I’m like I’m supposed to be meditating. 

Monte: Oh, you got to say, just take a pause and write it down. Write it down. The other day I was vacuuming, and then I just started working on my new talks last week, and I finished the boundaries by Wednesday. On Thursday, I cooked for 2 hours. I cooked big pots of food and freeze. And that’s how I deal with food.

Your meal prep. I did that, and then I was vacuuming. And as I was vacuuming, the second was the trauma and addiction. I’ve been studying it, but I wasn’t sure how I wanted to present it. The flow there really represented what I believe, and it came in. I just had to turn off the vacuum. Great! There we go!

Two hours later, I had cut my hair, taken a shower, and I was like, “Oh, this is the third one.” It’s on happiness because that’s what I’m obsessed with: being happy. Finding happiness. Creating happiness. Living like creating your dream, even if it’s just pockets, you know what I mean? Make a big change. But consciously enjoy your life because you’re here, and that’s it.

And that one came right through too. And so, when you create that space, sometimes I’ll be getting into my stuff, and my mind will be like, Oh my gosh, what could go a 7 million different ways? And I start to get stressed out. I just walked away. 

Tina: Yeah, forcing it at that point. You’re not letting it flow. You’re forcing it. 

Monte: Yeah. And I just trust and ask. I talk to God like a higher power, and I also just talk to myself. You know what? You’re all jumbled right now. It’s okay. Here’s what we would like: We would nick this section to come through. Sometimes it’s a different section that comes through, whatever. But just to really be able to give yourself space and time, I think that’s where you can tap into that higher knowledge of the universe.

Tina:  Yeah absolutely. So the podcast is your leadership legacy right? So when you think about legacy and you think about, you know, you’re doing some big work in the world, in the universe, what is the intentional legacy that you’re that you’re looking to leave? 

Monte: I would say the number one thing that I love to give people is permission to live and love their life. Like with the boundaries. Like everything comes to happiness for me. Like, I’m in this adventure right now, and then I will go and I will be in another adventure. I’m not a “heaven and hell” person. I’m not just “done”. I’ve already lived in hell, you know? And so, how can I get to “heaven”, you know? How can I live in a way that really feels yummy to me? 

I don’t know what will ever happen on this planet, if we can get out of war, and arguing with each other, people with their “mythical books” trying to force their beliefs down other people’s minds.

It’s like, get out of my business, let me live my life, and let me be happy. And so, I believe that the more that people start to enjoy their life and to realize, even with my family. When I came back to San Francisco and I was at my mother’s house and I said something and she –  I don’t –  she thought we were –  she was like –  I was just –  but I was like, “Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Sorry. I don’t know what’s happening here but I did not fly thousands of miles to be at war with you.” She was basing it on my past because I used to be a little hellion. 

And then also watching things on television where people are fighting with each other. It’s like, we don’t have to be like that. I do not want to fight with anybody. Anything that I say today, don’t reach out to me and try to argue with me. If you want to have a nice conversation, tell me what you want to say. Ask me what I thought. Why do you think that?  Great. I don’t need to be right. I’m only trying to find what works for me and then offer that to other people. And that’s how I coach. Whenever I’m talking to somebody it’s like, take this, I feel like this might be helpful for you. And then sometimes, they completely switch it to something else.

Great. Perfect. I don’t know. I don’t think they know what’s going to happen when they leave here. I don’t know. How can I possibly know? 

Tina: I mean imagine a world party right? Like imagine a world where everyone was just living their life to their best. They’re living their best life and not worried about everyone else, just in their leadership, living their best life and pouring into other people, versus taking and war and all the stuff that we see going on 

Monte: And appreciating other people for being different. We all get to have our own opinions and that’s great. You know it’s like oh, let’s have some interesting conversations.  

Tina: So where can people find you Monte? Because you’re amazing and people should call you if they want a coach, a fitness coach, anything, all of it. 

Monte: Yeah I’m a man of many trades. I cannot be boxed. Reach out to me on Instagram or Facebook. You will see this face. Monte Cox.  I’m starting a YouTube channel but I’m just doing videos for practice. You can go look at them, I mean, they do have some good knowledge but they’re going to continue to get better. I would say Instagram is probably the best, or just reach out to me on Facebook. 

Tina: Amazing. Well I want to thank you. Thank you for being on. I’ve watched you for a long time from afar and recently we’ve got to know each other a little bit better. And I want to say that you are powerful. You’re a powerful human, up to big things, doing big things in the world. and I really appreciate you. So thank you for everything that you are and everything that you be. 

Monte: Thank you, I’m so grateful that I have friends that are friends with you because, yeah, we’ve been on the periphery and now it’s nice to actually get to know each other. So thank you for having me and everybody do something lovely today. And that’s what we’ll leave with. Go do something else. Go do something lovely for yourself.