What are Your Non-Negotiables?

Oct 15, 2015 | Blog

We all only have 24 hours in a day. In the 24 hours we have, work consumes much of our time and energy. I love the weekends because they give me a chance to recharge and get myself ready for the next week. I’ve created many really good habits this year including using Sundays to prep my food for the week and making meditation and exercise a more consistent part of my life. Because these new habits made such a positive difference for me, several months ago, I created a top 10 list of daily non-negotiables.

I’ve fallen into the trap lately (again) of taking on too much. Does anyone else take on more that they should? I need a little help here from all my fellow overachievers. I know you’re out there. WHY do we do this? Why can’t we just say NO?

I found myself in this spot late last week. I had piled on so much into the previous days and weeks that I started to shut down and lose site of the important things and slacking on my non-negotiables. It happens little by little. Sometimes, we don’t even see it until it’s too late. In the past, I didn’t recognize it at all and/or I would let it go much farther and get worse before the infamous “shit hits the fan” would happen.

Here I was again…over committed.

We’ve all been there. If you haven’t, please call me because I want to meet you and learn from you. I find myself catching this spiral of events sooner and sooner, which allows me to adjust much quicker and avoid the devastation that can sometimes happen. Practice does help and it does take time.

I am getting better, this I know. However, I do need to face the facts and figure out what I own so I can continue to work on it.

My Facts:
I hate to say no. I want to help everything and everyone. I want to be involved in it all. And, in the pursuit of it, I over extend and end up letting someone(s) down. OUCH. Normally, the “someone” is an important person(s) in my life. Even bigger OUCH. True story. This is what I own. When it happens, it’s not my best self.

This weekend, I backed out of a professional conference I had really been looking forward to attending. I’ve been feeling a bit off this past fews days. Super overwhelmed and couldn’t figure out why. When I began to think about why I was in this place, I found an easy go-to….It’s been so “busy” lately. I am no different than anyone else. We are constantly on the go. Fast paced. Going, going, going. Well, we each have 24 hours in a day, right? When I get to this point, this is a red flag for me because I realize it’s up to me to decide how to spend it.

I decided I needed to unplug for the weekend and get back to center. Over time, I have started to really understand just how important this is.

In the past, I would just continue to keep on going, even though I was dragging hard, to make sure I could take care of everyone else; first. What I realize now is that if I am not 100%, I’m actually having the opposite impact on people than intended. So, as soon as I realized I was in need of some self care, I chose not to go to the conference. I said no to something else and said yes to me. This was/is hard for me because I know I let people down.

My solution:
I started my weekend off with Saturday AM yoga and it wasn’t 5 minutes into the practice that I realized that yoga was precisely what I was missing. I had been so “busy” that I had slacked off on attending the class in a while. I spent the rest of the day reading, meditating and journaling. Oh, and a little online shopping #Zappos. 🙂 Then had a wonderful date night with my hubby. Got up Sunday morning and repeated every bit of it again, in addition to putting my food for the week together and a solid exercise and meditation plan in place for the week. My non-negotiables are back on track!

Here’s the thing. I don’t ever want to lose site of the important things or the good habits I’ve worked hard to create. These habits have changed my life so much for the better. They keep me centered and whole. They allow me to be my best self (most of the time – I am still learning!). They allow me to help others. And for all of this, I am forever grateful!

Every single person on this planet – we all have at least one thing in common. We all only have 24 hours in any given day for as long as we are alive. When I think about life in those terms, I realize I need to revisit my non-negotiables. These non-negotiables are things that, no matter what, you do each day, regardless of what distractions may come up.

I made this list up a while back. When something is not going right or if I am feeling “off”, I go to this list. As I look down the list, I always know right away what is missing that is making me feel “off”. A non-negotiable list is a list that if all things, that if all are performing well, means that you are happy and in a solid place with your life and your happiness. One important note is they all have to be things you have complete control over. A non-negotiable can not be something like “don’t accept the kids fighting” or “I will exercise with my husband”. They have to be about you and only within your own control. Non-negotiables on my top ten include drinking plenty of water, eating clean and saying positive affirmations to myself.

This past Friday afternoon, I looked at my list and the two things that popped up were yoga and meditation, neither of which I had done all week due to being “busy”. It’s not about being “busy”. It’s about priority and yes,….choice. We all define our priorities with the choices we make. This week, I chose not to do either yoga or meditation.

My Lessons:

  1. Stick to my non-negotiable list…always! It’s what keeps me in balance.
  2. Work harder on not overcommitting. Know your limits.
  3. Shake it off and do better next time. We are all constantly evolving.

We all have 24 hours in a day.

What are your non-negotiables?

If you haven’t written them down, please do that right now. You owe it to yourself…and to those you who love you.

Love & Light,